Cara speaks to groups of women, young adults, and students on relationships and love addiction, living with fear and anxiety, the beautiful challenges of motherhood, faith questions, and more.
LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS
As women, we’re so often labeled as love-chasers. We’re supposed to find a relationship and be fulfilled. We’re created to crave love, and then often made to feel guilty when we pursue it. We’re called promiscuous, or boy-crazy, or needy. I want to protect the woman’s right to pursue love and I want to support her in the struggle inherent in that pursuit.
At the same time, the pursuit and idea of love can become an empty promise to truly fulfill.
After spending nearly half of my life immersed in and tossed around by the cyclone of relationships, I found myself exhausted and scared. I was unaware of the addiction that had won me over, masked as love. We all need the love, it’s true. But we need to have real and honest conversations about what can happen, the good and the bad, as we journey to find it. As a recovering love addict, I need to, and am committed to talking about it.
Whether it’s a retreat, or a one time event there is something divine about a group of women gathering together to grow, encourage, empower, laugh, and breathe. Having talked on many topics such as relationships and marriage, expectations of motherhood, finding balance, facing insecurity, I feel it is so important to have transparent, challenging, and sometimes awkward conversations about the realities of our worlds and the worlds of those around us.
Post high school: where question asking is normal and also sometimes scary. What am I doing with my life? Where do I go next? Who do I go with? How do I figure this out? What does this all mean? Will I ever get married? And independence: often a love/hate relationship. You could never want anything more, but the thought of leaving what is familiar in any way is a big deal. Since 90% of my inner and outer dialogue comes in the form of questions, I am at ease in conversations like these; to learn next steps together; to explore the process and potential that lies in each question.
Adolescence. A scary word. One of my favorites.
A time in life when one’s search for love becomes 3D. It’s awkward and hard and hilarious. It’s scary, and real, and adventureful. It’s walking the tightrope between growing up and being a kid and asking the big question, “Who can I lean on and who will love me when I lose my balance?” We never outgrow our need for parental nurturing, but adolescence is one of those stages of life when you realize love is learned a lot of different ways. And that, my friends, is not easy.
Which is why I LOVE being around middle school and high school aged people . Without even realizing it they always highlight the truth-- that life is a rollercoaster of tension, and awkwardness, and joy and heartache, faith and fear and fill in the blank. They can’t and don’t want to hide it. Adults try to hide it, cuz we are so cool. So who’s the cool kid now?